NASA needs a planetary protector to save Earth from aliens

Posted at 6:00 PM, Aug 02, 2017
and last updated 2017-08-02 18:00:55-04

(RNN) – Here’s your chance to save the world, just like Captain Kirk, the X-Men and Superman.

NASA is looking for somebody with a secret security clearance who’ll make sure Earthlings are not exterminated by alien life or “organic-constituent and biological contamination.”

See, once we start landing on other planets and stuff, the astronauts need to really wipe their feet well to keep from bringing home some killer bug, spore or virus.

The pay ranges from $124,406 to $187,000 a year, which is a nice chunk of change, but really? That’s less than Justin Bieber spends on a long weekend in Monte Carlo. And this is what we pay somebody whose job is to keep Earth from becoming a lifeless orb spinning in the infinite blackness of eternity? Maybe NASA's got great healthcare.

The planetary protection officer is also in charge of making sure that if and when we land on exoplanets that support life, we don’t bring something along that’ll wipe them them out, like those octopus-looking guys in War of the Worlds who were destroying New Jersey and then suddenly died from random terrestrial bacteria.

Did you see that movie with Tom Cruise in it? Dude, that burning train scene ... awesome.

The job description does not say if you get to wear black suits, ties and hats and carry a device that will erase people’s memories like Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. That would be awesome, too.

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