MIDWAY, FL -- The recent tragedies over the past couple of weeks have some parents wondering about the affects it will have on their teens. Many parents are left to feel their kids are having to face more than they ever did as teenagers.
Family Therapists Jane Marks offers these tips on how to effectively start the conversation on self-esteem building.
1. Respect and honor the uniqueness of your teens' personality.
Each teen is unique in their personality. Some are more outgoing, some are more introverted, but to that extent, acknowledge your teen's natural abilities and support them in whatever way you can. For example, if your teen is interested in computers, or art, nurture them in that direction.
2. Value their uniqueness. Physically and emotionally teens constantly change.
They often feel over scheduled, misunderstood, abandoned. They feel often that they don't matter. However, you can encourage their uniqueness, their creativity, their ability to problem solve, their humor, their creative gifts. So it's important that parents, on a regular basis, value the uniqueness of your teen.
3. Creation of family mottoes, branding your family in a new way.
"We are the Johnson family, we are warriors" or "we are not quitters" or "we are problem solvers", or "Our family is diverse and we embrace all cultures". The idea of creating a family mantra that you stick to over years means that your family has a specialized name/brand.
4. Encourage self-discovery. What kinds of things are they interested in?
Have they tried these things? Encourage participation and taking risk in experiences that traditionally they have shunned. Say to your teens, "try something once to see if it enhances your life" is certainly a step toward personal growth in this direction.
5. Create experiences where they can obtain success on a regular basis.
6. Reinforce personal identity, cultural identity and spiritual identity.
When teens understand their worth in all of these areas they can begin to reject negative thinking about peers, insecurities, problems that are hurled at them on a regular basis. In a lot of ways, you want your teens to fail because it is through failure that they are learning. Teens develop confidence when they experience successes particularly after having muscled through very significant issues.
