TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (WTXL) - This week's "Teen Talk" is focused on advice for parents and teaching teens to be more giving this holiday season.
WTXL contributor and family therapist Jane Marks says unfortunately the teens today as well as teens of previous generations are typically characterized as the most materialistic generation in history. If you recall your own history most of us were status conscience and we wanted to improve our identity among our peers or we wanted to appear cool. Too often this would lead to poor decisions with regard to spending. As parents I think it is important that we coach our kids in a focused manner. There is no question that we live in a society that encourages spending to fit in and the idea of the latest and greatest. So, as a parent these are some things that you might focus on to reshape the definition of materialism.
Here's more of her advice:
1. Have conversations about the cost of things. Making costs clear will allow a teen to have more realistic expectations about the work that goes in to earning an income and buying a particular possession. This has to start early though. Require your teens to purchase expensive items with their own money. Also provide ways for them to earn money if they are unable to secure jobs.
2. It is important to realize that teens who grow up with broader periods of instability as well as disconnection when parents are separated are more likely to espouse materialistic values particularly if they experience either during mid-childhood or adolescence. So for parents who are going through these kinds of experiences, try and create different goals and challenges because you don’t want to use possessions to fill the void within themselves or to replace the instability.
3. Parents, model simplicity and contentment to the extent that you can. If you are a model of reaching for the next gadget or also focusing on material things, they are more likely to imitate what they see. Show a deeper appreciation for the value of things.
4. Practice generosity. Volunteer as a family. Pick experiences that you have a heart for. Shifting your focus on the needs of others can encourage gratitude in your teens. Encourage making a difference in other people’s lives. The nice thing about our schools in general is that they encourage this as we talked about the last time we did Teen Talk, so to the extent that you can, encourage idealism.
5. Focus your attentions on developing creativity in your youngsters. It limits the amount of time that kids can watch television or other social media. I think encouraging creativity nurtures tremendous personal growth and development.
6. Teach your teens to read behind marketing messages. What are they really trying sell you? This teaches critical thinking and it teaches messages that are sometimes triggers for spending. Do they think a product will deliver on its promise? These are the compelling kinds of questions that encourage communication which is often a very tough issue for parents and teens.
7. Parents, discourage entitlement. Some teens feel like it is a rite of passage to have the latest and greatest. It is extremely important to demonstrate the realities of responsibility. It is hard work to maintain possessions cleaning houses, repairing cars.
8. Expose your teens to people, groups, experiences who are less fortunate or who live at substantially lower situations than they do. Exposure to third world county documentaries or research information online. Exposure to people in our own communities who are homeless. Exposure to situations where people have had a great deal and have been reduced to having nothing because life can change on a dime. I think just simply an awareness of this experience makes a difference in giving them different glasses to look out of the materialistic eye.
9. Model inclusiveness in your life. Seek friends for your teens and yourself from all possible backgrounds. Make sure that you do not in any way imply that one person may be more worthy based on professions. Too often we live in a world with that kind of exposure.
10. Be extremely supportive. Parents who nurture high self-esteem in their teens on a regular basis are less likely to value possessions.
11. Before this holiday let’s clean out your closets and let’s see how compassionate and generous you can be. Indeed you are teaching priorities.
12. Ask your teen for input on how to give as a family. Teens love to give input on decisions and teaching them to be solution makers which is what we also ascribe to. A great resource is charitynavigation.org which describes hundreds of charities that are screened for financial accountability.
Watch Teen Talk every other Monday at 6:30 a.m. on WTXL's Sunrise.
