TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (WTXL) - This week's "Teen Talk" is focused on advice for parents at the beginning of the year that can help teens be more independent in 2015.
WTXL contributor and family therapist Jane Marks:
1. First as parents you want to be as realistic and aware of your child's individual personality. Consider his individual living situation, personality type, learning style and any extenuating circumstances.
2. Work on building independent living skills. One of the things that we were taught years ago was independent living skills. They were taught in old home economic classes. Now we don't focus so much on laundry, cooking, basic social skills, how to interview, how to complete job applications. All of these help toward self-reliance and self-confidence so to the extent that we as parents can focus on this, it will be extremely helpful.
3. Help in developing anticipatory skills. This means focusing on organization, time management, execution and completion of projects. Teach informed decision making and how to develop critical thinking skills. This is a very important function.
4. Physical fitness and taking care of health habits should be a must. Exercise, eating and health maintenance is critical. Set limits on any potential risk taking activities, including overtaking of medications and the misuse of substances.
5. Encourage development of personal goals, whether it's starting a new initiative or engagement in a group or a willingness to try new things or developing a strong work ethic. All of these qualify as personal goals and the more you identify specifics, the healthier it is for teens.
6. Help to develop sympathy and empathy for others. It is important for teenagers to have an emotional awareness of feelings and too often teenagers can be extraordinarily impulsive. If we teach them to be aware of feelings, how to reflect on them, how to regulate them, and how to incorporate the fact that hormones are affecting them on a daily basis. This helps with overall management of emotions particularly if they are at risk for depression.
7. Mandate cyber-safety. We talk about this so often, but I still, on a continuous basis hear these stories in my office. Do not share passwords, do not meet people online, do not bully text or impact on someone's reputation. Do not plagiarize, do not talk to anyone you don't know.
8. Set limits and be prepared to enforce any kind of consequences. It is important that you define what rules are in your household, prioritize those rules and also define your consequences well ahead of the year. This way you skip the drama and you are not spending so much time imposing new restrictions that you have to come up with during the course of the year. Ask for your teens' input.
9. Recognize that mistakes are valuable learning lessons. Don't ignore them. Always sort through, "how can we handle this next time?" It is here where genuine learning occurs and by all means, remember you can be a fabulous role model for problem solving and this is a skill that will serve them the rest of their lives.
10. Finally, positive and focused attention. One of the most important things that you can do for your child is to give him focused attention. Show your teen that you not only love them but you respect them and also you respect their individuality. Be careful about participating in "drive by" experiences. In our fast paced schedules, we are all at risk for spotty attention.
There is a life changing teen tips app that is a free app that shares 101 tips to help teenagers to make sound choices for life.
Watch Teen Talk every other Monday at 6:30am on WTXL's Sunrise.
